Original post here:
I strongly believe that most women lack the fundamental ability to look past the gaud of their fantasy weddings and honeymoons and the influx of praise and attention they receive from their peers at their announcements and ceremonies and this lack of foresight leads to a declining marriage (read: not haaaapy anymore).
Sorry, but blaming this selfish and repulsive behavior on a woman’s inherent nature will not fix the problem at hand. I agree with you, 100%, that the obsession with weddings, rings, dresses, etc, is repulsive. Why women even do that makes no sense to me. When I imagine my future, I don’t even think for 5 seconds about the ring, dress, honeymoon, party, whatever. Who gives a shit? Why don’t women fantasize about the various stages of their long term relationship. This is what I dream/fantasize about when I think of a future with my SO..
- Moving in together, and working together to create a nice and happy lifestyle
- Doing the boring, domestic, every day things together so that neither of us are never unhappy, we have everything under control, a working system which promotes harmony
- Coming home after a long days work, whipping up a delicious yet effortless meal for him, sitting at the table and discussing our plans for our next project, or just our day
- Spending the weekends going out and having fun, trying new things, or staying at home and relaxing, or spending some time working on our latest projects
- Moving across the country because he or I find a job in silicon valley, beginning a new chapter in our lives and taking a leap together (at least the weather is nice!) if that were to happen
- Moving back to the east coast to finally settle down and be more present in our family’s lives…or visiting our families quite often in our twenties if we decide to stay close
- Getting pets…we have a deal…one dog, and one cat, except he hates cats, so he will give a cat a chance for a few months and if he doesnt like the cat we will give it up to another family.
- Having a DINK lifestyle for our twenties, affording nice things we want, and fun vacations
- Getting a house, having kids, being present in those kids lives, juggling career and kids so that life doesnt get too hard, saving and being smart about our money so we are not struggling
- Growing old together in general
This is what women should fantasize about. This is what a lifetime of being together is. Not that shit about weddings. Why dont women think like this?? WHY
I believe the solution to the problem is bridzilla shaming. Bascially when a woman gets too obsessive over her ideas of a perfect wedding, dress, ring, etc, shame her by making her feel like the materialistic shallow person that she really is. By shaming her to feel bad for fantasizing about the shallow things, and encouraging her to imagine instead a lifelong plan for happiness, not a plan for a exhilarating 12 hours that a wedding actually is. However many hours there is in a life time, a wedding is such a minuscule, insignificant portion of that. Remind her that her lifetime of happiness isnt based on a day of joy. That she will be in misery if she doesnt get her fucking priorities straight and think about and plan for the important things.
Women shouldn’t be rewarded for being shallow and materialistic. Why society rewards that is honestly BEYOND me…