I got dumped by a plate. But the ultimate in AFBB‏

Original post by raceAround126:

There’s no easier way to have reassurance of TRP than to just see it unfold in front of you. I’m amazed at just how accurate this place is. And yes, it certainly appears, AWALT! My plate left about 20 minutes ago and all I could think of doing was getting straight on here!

I hooked up with this girl about two months ago. She bored me immensely personality-wise but we fucked on the first date. Holy crap she was incredible. Seriously the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Not difficult though – sex with my SO never happened much and when it did, it was pretty much lie back and think of England. This girl encouraged me with odd locations, positions, risky environments… you get the idea!

She’s 26, a school teacher and a serious nympho. We had a conversation at one point and we both agreed that all we wanted was sex with at most occasionally meeting in a bar beforehand for a quick drink and that’s it. I never asked her about her work, she didn’t ask about mine. I think she got off on the fact that she didn’t know anything about me past my first name, but occasionally photos and random stuff around my flat would often hint at things she wasn’t a part of. She’d sometimes ask, but I’d evade the question and immediately get sexy.

Last night, I get a sex-text. I’m not up to anything, feeling up for it and let her over. After round 1, she tells me that things need to end. I thought this was a shit-test. Secretly I was a little let down because I was fulfilling a lot of freaky sex fantasies with her and she was down for almost anything. But, keeping TRP in mind I maintained frame, carried on reading a magazine I had in front of me and said, “OK, no worries”.

It was funny how well it worked. She immediately felt the need to spill her guts. I had figured something was up the last time she came over. She was more full on than usual and we tried anal for the first time. We’d talked about it before and this time she was just crazy up for it.

As it turns out, she has a long term boyfriend (news to me) and that she was scared of fucking things up with him. I did wonder as sometimes she’d insist on staying the whole night, other times she would have to leave at specific times. It did add up.

When she had come over last time, her boyfriend had proposed to her over the weekend. This was apparently the spark that made her want to further escalate kinky sex with me.

Part of me felt desperately sorry for this poor sap. But we talked further. I asked why she was so eager to try anal and get a little more freaky. Her response? She felt she couldn’t do those things with her new fiancé and wanted to try out everything possible before getting hitched and settling down. Oh yea, this was after Round 2 at this point.

She went on to tell me the most beta bucks story I could ever imagine. He’s a trainee dentist, his parents are rich and have not only are they picking up the tab for his education, but they’re also agreeing to help fund his first practice and help them with their house deposit.

I asked straight up, “Do you even love this guy? Or is it more that he’s a financial future?” She hamstered a little until telling me that she loved him in a “different” way and that the security he offered was greater than anything I could (not that I was). It was as if to imply that although she liked the sex, she had no confidence in my ability to “provide” or be the basis for her long term future. This despite her having no idea what I do for a living. OK this part burned a little, but I quickly realized that this was just hamster excuses to elevate her fiance just for the moment, but I was the sex she wanted.

She also admitted that she didn’t get up to anything freaky with him bedroom-wise as she didn’t “feel like that” about him. It was also very apparent that it appeared the reason why she head to finish with me – her first and only explanation by the way – was that it was getting more difficult to convince Beta Bucks that these nights away were all entirely work related. She was apparently headed to the airport from mine so she could maintain and convince Beta Bucks that she’d just arrived back from somewhere.

So basically, she liked getting freaky with me because she wanted to get it out of her system. Suits me, that was quite the experience.

So, it’s the morning, I wake up to her drying her hair after showering. I said something like “You just got off a flight, can’t look too pristine!” And there came round 3… On the plus side, that 30 minute sex sesh was awesome, like this is the last time kinda sex. Hair properly ruffled and a little sweat on her, the pretence was more or less complete. On the down side, I now need to head to Ikea for a new desk… we broke mine as it wasn’t totally against the wall and the left side ripped off as I was slamming her so hard.

Before she left, I asked, “Where’s your engagement ring?”. Quickly followed by an “Oh shit”… ruffle around in her jacket and a “Thank you for reminding me…” as she drags it out of her pocket with a crumpled £5 note and hurriedly shimmies it up her finger.

The door closed but she looked back at me as she closed it with a smile. At that point, I just felt a little like something tells me this isn’t over, but if it is, whatever!

On the one hand I feel terrible for the Beta Bucks. Mainly as that could have been me just as easily. But even though through reading posts here I was kinda prepared for some eventuality to someday occur. I have to admit, I just wasn’t prepared for the events last night. It was stunning to say the least. For the entire situation to just unfold in front of me like that… it was… admittedly kinda scary. I’ve done things with this girl that I’ve sometimes seen in porn movies. Shit, gonna miss her if she does indeed finish it. But knowing there’s some guy who is basically being taken for an utter shit ride is kinda… terrible.

But there you go… I guess, for the first time in my life, I’ve been the alpha fucks side of this equation. I’m not sure how I feel about it in honesty. I didn’t want anything more than fucking this girl and her behaviour is beyond atrocious. But knowing there’s some guy whose getting pretty much owned in this situation is a little disheartening. Conscience fucking with my head.

tl/dr: Found out my plate was just engaged. I’m and alpha fux.

EDIT: I know a lot of you are all courageous and would “do the right thing” and go tell him. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t as it’s nothing to do with me, I have zero way of contacting him at all. No name, no address, no nothing. In fact, if she disappeared tomorrow, I have no evidence other than some phone pics that I’d ever met her. But, to put your mind at rest, she’s already sought another audience with raceAround126 😀 I guess she really didn’t mean it’s over.

And a very good answer by HumanSockPuppet:

“Illusions” are lies that a woman tells to herself in order to feel good (or at the very lest, feel justified) about what she is doing.

Here are some classic examples of illusions concocted by women:

  • I’m only cheating because I suspect he cheated first, so it’s his fault.
  • I can have sex with as many guys as I want and not feel like a slut, because the sex doesn’t mean anything. It’s just harmless fun.
  • I don’t usually do this, so doing it doesn’t make me a bad person.
  • These guys won’t date me because they can’t handle a real woman.

Most of these excuses are patently false when held up to even mild scrutiny. Women will even say things that were disproven only seconds earlier. Men are creatures of fact and observation. We evaluate statements based on their truth and accuracy, so witnessing this in action can quite confusing. Many guys will often feel compelled to shut down such overt lies by calling attention to them, usually with embarrassing results for the girl.

The thing to remember is that these kinds of statements are not valuable for their accuracy, but rather for how they fit into the woman’s narrative about the kind of person she thinks she is, and about the kind of person she wants OTHER PEOPLE TO THINK she is.

In this post, OP helped his plate maintain her illusions in several ways:

  1. He didn’t express surprise or shock when she revealed she had a boyfriend.
  2. He did not judge her about her sexual promiscuity, and instead showed sympathy and interest in her need for a dirty partner.
  3. He advised her against looking too good if her story was that she’d just got off a plane.
  4. He reminded her to put on her engagement ring.

By doing this, proved that he was one of the few guys who understands women enough to value her need for comforting lies over some blind adherence to honesty as an abstract principle.

Remember, women are just as concerned about social status as men are. But where a man’s value comes from the appearance of having honesty, integrity, and a good work ethic, a woman’s value comes from her apparent chasteness and consideration for other people’s feelings.

Be bad and get ahead, but lie and say that you’re good like everyone else. It’s the recipe for real success, but a dangerous game to play. The more you help people win, the most disposed they will be towards you.

Women want a wedding, not a marriage

Original post here:

I strongly believe that most women lack the fundamental ability to look past the gaud of their fantasy weddings and honeymoons and the influx of praise and attention they receive from their peers at their announcements and ceremonies and this lack of foresight leads to a declining marriage (read: not haaaapy anymore).

Sorry, but blaming this selfish and repulsive behavior on a woman’s inherent nature will not fix the problem at hand. I agree with you, 100%, that the obsession with weddings, rings, dresses, etc, is repulsive. Why women even do that makes no sense to me. When I imagine my future, I don’t even think for 5 seconds about the ring, dress, honeymoon, party, whatever. Who gives a shit? Why don’t women fantasize about the various stages of their long term relationship. This is what I dream/fantasize about when I think of a future with my SO..

  • Moving in together, and working together to create a nice and happy lifestyle
  • Doing the boring, domestic, every day things together so that neither of us are never unhappy, we have everything under control, a working system which promotes harmony
  • Coming home after a long days work, whipping up a delicious yet effortless meal for him, sitting at the table and discussing our plans for our next project, or just our day
  • Spending the weekends going out and having fun, trying new things, or staying at home and relaxing, or spending some time working on our latest projects
  • Moving across the country because he or I find a job in silicon valley, beginning a new chapter in our lives and taking a leap together (at least the weather is nice!) if that were to happen
  • Moving back to the east coast to finally settle down and be more present in our family’s lives…or visiting our families quite often in our twenties if we decide to stay close
  • Getting pets…we have a deal…one dog, and one cat, except he hates cats, so he will give a cat a chance for a few months and if he doesnt like the cat we will give it up to another family.
  • Having a DINK lifestyle for our twenties, affording nice things we want, and fun vacations
  • Getting a house, having kids, being present in those kids lives, juggling career and kids so that life doesnt get too hard, saving and being smart about our money so we are not struggling
  • Growing old together in general

This is what women should fantasize about. This is what a lifetime of being together is. Not that shit about weddings. Why dont women think like this?? WHY

I believe the solution to the problem is bridzilla shaming. Bascially when a woman gets too obsessive over her ideas of a perfect wedding, dress, ring, etc, shame her by making her feel like the materialistic shallow person that she really is. By shaming her to feel bad for fantasizing about the shallow things, and encouraging her to imagine instead a lifelong plan for happiness, not a plan for a exhilarating 12 hours that a wedding actually is. However many hours there is in a life time, a wedding is such a minuscule, insignificant portion of that. Remind her that her lifetime of happiness isnt based on a day of joy. That she will be in misery if she doesnt get her fucking priorities straight and think about and plan for the important things.

Women shouldn’t be rewarded for being shallow and materialistic. Why society rewards that is honestly BEYOND me…

RP Women

Too bad I can’t find a source for this one, since it was written by a woman:

To those asking about how my husband demands respect this is a message I sent to another redditor and perhaps will help:

OK, now to answer your question on how does he not allow me to disrespect him. Overall, I would say that he is calm and firm. Let me give you some examples:

1.) He doesn’t tell me what I want to hear, he tells me what he is thinking. This can be tricky because you don’t want to come right out and tell your wife or girlfriend she is fat, for example. But, at the same time, you shouldn’t be afraid of being honest. An example of this with my husband would be this:

I’m sitting on the couch and I have just devoured a box of cookies. Although I am not fat, I say to him in a whiny girly voice that is filled with regret from having just eaten an entire box of cookies in one sitting, “I’m so fat.” He says “You’re definitely going to be if you keep sitting round eating cookies like that all day.”

Okay, this may not seem like a big deal, but how many women do you know who would be offended by his blunt honesty? And further, how many women do you know who would punish their husband or boyfriend for saying something like that? They might withhold sex, or shut down emotionally, or do something passive-aggressive. I know, because I have done things like that!

Now, what I respect about this scenario is that my husband isn’t afraid to be honest with me. He’s not even afraid of hurting my feelings if we’re having a conversation in which I’ve provoked him to be honest. While I may not necessarily like what he is saying, I like that he was man enough to say it, and he can say it without being malicious.

2.) He doesn’t do what I want to appease me. In my past relationships, my boyfriends always did what I wanted, when I wanted. If I wanted to do something even if I knew they didn’t want to, I knew that they would do it anyway. I knew this because they taught me to treat them that way. It’s healthy to say no and not allow one person in the relationship to get what they want all the time.

Let me give you another example of this with my husband:

It’s the weekend and I like to get out of the house. I stay home all week with our baby and I go a little stir-crazy. He works a high-stress job all week and is worn out. So, we are already at odds here. I will say to him, “let’s go downtown and have coffee and walk around.” Now, if he doesn’t want to do this (or whatever I have suggested) he says no. He doesn’t care if I don’t like the answer, he doesn’t care if it means a lot to me, he says no.

In the beginning of our relationship, this used to fucking piss me off. I would argue things like, “I stay home and want to get out of the house” or “it’s give and take in a relationship and you’re being selfish by not doing this with me”. For a long time, I believed I was right. Then I realized over time that I was the one who was being selfish. I was the one who was putting this extra responsibility on him to make me feel better.

This is tricky because a relationship is give and take. There are times that I fully expect him to do something with me even though I know he’d rather not, and I do the same for him. Sometimes I have to remind him of that. Sometimes he surprises me by suggesting we do something that I know he doesn’t want to but he does it because he knows I want to. What is important to remember though, is that he stands firm and stays true to himself. He doesn’t let me bully or manipulate him. He doesn’t always tell me no, but if he does, he means it and I respect that.

3.) He doesn’t react unless he needs to put me in my place. This may sound harsh, but it’s true. If I am throwing a fit and saying shitty things to him, he will either walk away and ignore me, or he will say just enough to defend himself that makes me shut up.

Now, just recently I made a remark to him when we were fighting about him being lazy. I knew as soon as the words came out of my mouth that I had fucked up. I know he’s not lazy. He knows he’s not lazy. He knows that I know that he’s not lazy. But was he about to let me talk to him like that and get away with it? Fuck. No. He looked me dead in the eye and in a very stern, deep voice he asked in a confrontational tone, “You think I’m lazy?” Again, “DO YOU THINK I’M LAZY?”

He never broke eye contact, he never yelled. But he nipped it in the bud. I have a nervous laughter and so I started giggling and then apologized. He didn’t laugh and didn’t engage anymore in the conversation with me.

This is tricky because not all women will respond the way I did. He has taught me to respect him by being calm, firm, and authoritative when he speaks to me. He also picks his battles. Like I said, he will sometimes just say no and ignore the rest of my banter. However, if I cross the line and am disrespectful, he knows how to firmly and effectively handle the situation.

Of all the ways he has taught me to respect him, I think these three things stick out the most. I hope this has helped!

Practical Applications of RP Theory in an LTR‏

As per GayLubeOil:

Fucking bar sluts is fun, but there are major drawbacks. Its time consuming, there is the persistent risk of STD’s plus there is also the danger of bringing someone you completely don’t know into your life. Maybe she steals. Maybe she”ll forget her syringes in your house, from all the Finaplex she takes to bridge the gender gap. Or maybe she’ll give you a throat infection because she loves kissing rando dudes. Eventually you are going to find yourself in an LTR, here are three practical ways to apply red pill theory in a relationship.

Wrestle Your Girlfriend: One of the central theories of Red Pill is that women like to be dominated. A woman’s lizard brain wants to know that you can protect her, wrestling your girlfriend is the most straight forward way of proving this. Now am I saying to inflict physical harm to your beloved? No. What im saying is that there is nothing wrong with a little horse play. Now the feminists are obviously going to read this and say aha! Red Pill promotes violence against women! Not so fast you cunts. I don’t want my girlfriend being raped and im actively preparing her to defend herself against a much larger stronger male aggressor. The final reason to wrestle your girlfriend is that it teaches her an important lesson, that life is chaotic and anything can happen at any time. One minute shes on the computer, bored watching youtube commercials because she’s a woman and doesn’t know about adblock. The next, you’re making her life exciting with the banana split.

Boss Your Girlfriend around: Women like being lead. They like it when men give them purpose. They like working towards a common goal. Because of my bodybuilding and budget, I do a lot of my own cooking. If im cooking, my girlfriend is obviously going to be eating, so I always tell her to help in the food preparation by mincing garlic, cutting onions or rubbing seasoning into meat. Bonus: she gets more practice rubbing meat.

Make her jealous from time to time. As soon as your in a happy committed relationship tons of rando bitches come out of the woodwork, touching your arms and flirting. Women find men in relationships more attractive because of Pre-selection. Hang out with other women from time to time. Get coffee, play tennis, just to let your girlfriend knwo that you have options but you don’t realy intend to pursue them.

And some selected comments:

feriksen: a few additional notes (from a married man for 14 years) on keeping your wife/LTR on her toes for you:

slap/grab her ass: Like all-the-time. Playful. Hear her giggle and watch her sway her hips just that little bit more as she walks away afterwards

pull her hair: Giving her a kiss? Pull the back of her hair ever so slightly. Try it. Intensity of her kissing you increasing by 300%. You can literally her hear tingles kick in. You should do this at least a few times a day. She’ll be ready to roll at the drop of a pin after a while. Of course, once in bed(or couch, or over kitchen sink or..), do the same there. And do slap that ass again.

I should really try and do a write up on how to handle fighting/screaming/name calling.. Apart from keeping my wifes sexual attraction high as much as possible, I think the handling of fights are the 2nd biggest contributor for us at least, in keeping a healthy marriage (and trust me, the first 13 years were not so happy).

my 2cents at least

Usherai:

slap/grab her ass: Like all-the-time. Playful. Hear her giggle and watch her sway her hips just that little bit more as she walks away afterwards

I also hump my gf a lot of the time. Like as she’s making food I’ll just walk up behind her and start humping. Playfully. Maybe I’ll whisper “Shhhh. It’s not about sex it’s about dominance.” My current gf is the only one so far that humps me back. It’s fun.

Give her almost no attention at times: If I’m in the middle of reading something or doing whatever and she tries to talk about shit I’ll just ignore her. When she asks if I’m listening I say “no.” Why? Because it reinforces the fact that your time is more valuable than hers. Guys who give their girlfriend/wife 100% of their attention every time she wants it are not the guys you want to be. It’s not something to do constantly, but scattered throughout your relationship.

tease/fuck with her frequently This is of course standard in early game stages, but I notice a lot of guys let this slip after a while. It’s something to consciously keep doing.

do silly shit together This is along the lines of teasing, and may just be my particular brand of humor, but I like doing random silly shit with my gf. Sometimes when I go to kiss her I’ll go full-on open mouth tongue wagging. We act out plays (where I of course have the dominant role) and if there’s a hand kissing part I’ll make out with her hand in an over-exaggerated fashion. Play peek-a-boo with her. Whatever.

Women are basically children at heart so they take a lot of joy in silly things. It’s fun for them and me. Additionally, if you do all the silly things in a way that enhances your dominance, they not only “love how fun you are” but it really helps instill and maintain the dominant/submissive dynamic in yet another way. Obviously this can be overdone and you’ll look like a clown. Obviously this shouldn’t be done in public, generally speaking. Nevertheless, a healthy dose of this spurs bonding, her sense of how fun you are, and enhances your dominance. (I think part of why girls like a guy that can be silly is that it triggers the part of their brain so that they think you’ll be a good dad.

Really, most LTR game for me has been getting a balance of alpha/beta traits, weighted toward alpha of course.

Another thing is that frame control is huge, and a lot of the silly/random stuff, by nature of her becoming a part of your imagination, forces her further into your frame.

feriksen again:

tease/fuck with her frequently This is of course standard in early game stages, but I notice a lot of guys let this slip after a while. It’s something to consciously keep doing.

This! Keep up feeding her attraction/appetite for you. All the examples are basically ways to express physical dominance. And so many of us stop doing that within the LTR, then wonder why she is no longer that attracted to us.

Other stuff:

Lifting: When I come from work/travel, she meets me at the door I lift her up, have her wrap her legs around my waist, and I just drop my briefcase, close the door and carry her either to the armrest of the couch or onto the dining table, and give her a 5 second tounge-inspection. If I’m horny, she’ll be ready then and there. Hell, if I’ve travelled for more then a few days she’ll be greeting me in lingerie (with the expectation of getting nailed hard)…

Texting: while at work, before coming home: “I am going to fuck ur brain out tonight”. She will be horny long before you come home. No silly questions, assume the sale, and take what you want.

And secularist42:

Couple of things from my marriage:

Fuck her…often: This might sound obvious, but to those of us in LTR’s…a few years in, life can get in the way sometimes. I have to be mindful of how important sex is for keeping my wife in the mindset we both prefer. Fuck her. Well and often. And don’t ever ask…you’re in a relationship…sex is expected to be part of that equation.

Resist the urge to make her life easier: What I mean is don’t compromise yourself when you wouldn’t otherwise. When she has a cold and feels like shit, don’t ask what she wants for dinner when normally you’d be making the decision. Give her options: “A or B?”…but not: “I know you’re sick…what do you feel like?”. We know to not do this in everyday…make sure you don’t do it when she needs your decisiveness most.

Keep being the ‘Asshole She Fell In Love With’: This is the NMMNG part of it. There is something so telling about my wife saying “you’re SUCH an asshole!” with a subtle head tilt and a grin, her eyes smiling. I’ve made the mistake of thinking I needed to soften my personality over time in relationships in my past…with expected results. Dante has that saying about whatever it is that gets the girl is the same thing that keeps the girl. Own that.

2nd nomination for consistent Hair Pulling and Ass Slaps with an added Picking Her Up and Manhandling Her onto the counter or kitchen table etc.: I’ll reach over at a restaurant or while driving and grab a handful of her hair with a light pull. Doesn’t have to be followed with a kiss, but certainly can be. Ass Slaps are the same, in the grocery store or at home…a great reminder. Picking her up and throwing her on the counter then kissing or bending her over the table work to let her literally feel your command of your ship…things that all have her feeling comforted and feminine in my world.