Tinder FR – Who needs plates anymore?

Original post by raceAround126:

I was sat at 6:30 last night. I just got through with a busy day of gym sessions, car repairs and enjoying my free weekend.

At the moment, I’m down to one plate who is flaky at best. So I decided to give this tinder business a whirl. I’ve never really paid it much attention before. I followed a YouTube guide when I set it up ages ago and forgot about it. I simply put up a single picture of me. Quite frankly, I was posing! But there you go.

So I started swiping right and messaging while waiting for my dinner to cook! I was direct, I simply said words to the effect of “I don’t care about you, don’t want to get to know you, just want fun, games and sex for one night only!” Copy and paste that and that was it.

I have to admit, it was a joke on my part. I had no real belief that it would “work” or any belief that I would be doing anything other later that night than trying to decide on whether or not to stay in watch a movie, or to go out and hit the town.

A few moments later, I was busy on other things and noticed a whole bunch of tinder replies. Some of them were along the lines of “creep” or “pervert”… whatever. But, a fair few of them were “I’m game, where r u”. In fact, of the messages I sent, I’d say over half were positive replies.

It can’t be that easy! So, I picked three hot looking ones and messaged back. I applied the usual investigative procedures, as in photos not taken too close to avoid fatties, profiles that actually had some information to prove the person was real, etc. I figured all would flake if they even would agree to meet at all. But I kept it up anyhow.

Long story short, one girl got way too wordy so stopped replying. Too many messages about her life story, not interested. Usually I’d text game, but I felt deviating from the original mission would show weakness. Eventually after ignoring various messages, she just said, “So, where you wanna meet?” Stay on mission, boys!

In the end all three agreed to meet. I set up 8pm meets with them in different pubs. The true epitome of window shopping. Now, bear in mind, I’m still of the impression that none of this would work and it was just a game on my part.

So, pub 1. I went past the window and was almost blown away to see my tinder date had arrived early! Sadly she looked a helluva lot older than her photo and a lot larger. Eh, I’m not that desperate enough to go in and try and impress someone who looked like a moping mess. I simply messaged her and said, “Not going to make it”. I think her replies were along the lines of “Fuck you” but there were more words than that which I didn’t read.

Pub 2, no date. I guessed she flaked.

Pub 3, date present and correct. And she looked more or less like her photo. Not bad. She looked up for it so why not. I was about to go in and make my intro when date 2 messaged telling me she would be late but she’d “make it up to me.”

Back to pub 2 it is. I arrived just to see her getting out of her car and she’s stonking. What a dilemma. Two dates, both actually pretty good looking and both pretty much assured that they were coming for no strings fucking.

Fuck me lads, this shit works.

I went with date 2. Simply, she looked like she made more of an effort and not as bike-ish as date 3. Date 2 was also the date that got wordy and I ignored after a while. So I went in and met her.

After the initial nervousness, claims that she’d “never done this sort of thing before” and she “can’t believe she’s really here with a total strnager” which seemed to be actually believable given the nervousness and looked like she was close to bailing, but I chatted her up and had a laugh with her. Did the whole changing location thing, random fun bits around town (my hallmark). Just after midnight, we were at her place getting to know her pussy. Oh and then her pussy!

I think I picked a winner. She was quite conservative looking, didn’t appear to be an outright slut. Put it another way, she came across as the kind of girl that you would happily introduce to your Mother. Sex-wise, again after the initial nervousness she was up for why we were there for sure. As usual, did the ol’ check out my phone photos ooh lets take a selfie security shots. A bit of fun mixed with safety. No buttsex, but she seemed game for escalating. The more adventurous I got, so did she. A pretty good fucky time all round. I guess the assurance it was no strings helped that one out.

So, lessons learned.

  1. I’m absolutely floored that this even worked.
  2. I think I spent the grand total of £3 on a beer for myself and I guess £1 or so on mobile data. A lot cheaper than most club entry costs.
  3. The girls on tinder are basically looking to get fucked. And most will make themselves available at the drop of a hat. My one had previously arranged to go out with friends, but viewed me as a better offer.
  4. If you try this, I would say your game needs to be expert level. The true definition of not giving a shit. You will need to play with her verbally, be absolutely sure not to have a single awkward moment and be sure not to be the clown. Easy going, a mixture of reserved closed book and fun.
  5. I’m as shocked as you are! I wouldn’t describe myself as super hot, but I work out and have everything in the right place.
  6. If you come across genuine and not creepy, she’ll make you breakfast in the morning too!

So all in all… tinder, fuck yeah! Will hit this shit again!

Escalation

Can’t find original author. Here it goes:

It’s so easy to fuck with their heads.

Chain escalation based on plausible deniability. That’s what it is but there’s a name for it. I think it was mentioned in an RSD video. You get her saying yes and keep doing things that are ok, and slowly it gets from point A to your bed.

  • “We’re just gonna stop by my house, I need to get my other credit card”
  • “Fuck this we’re already here, and we’re going to the bar in 2 mins, let’s pre drink, I’ve got this bottle of w/e, let’s go out on the deck, check out my view”

now you’re drinking wine together on your deck looking at your backyard or the night sky. Have some shit pre made that you can toss into the oven for a snack that takes 5 min to make.

  • “I’ll be right back I gotta use the loo”
  • “I lied, I saw you were hungry and I wanted something so I got us some of these.”

Now with food and wine, she’s not gonna want to go to the bar. Get her to watch a movie with you, crank that heat down in your house. Have some blanket nearby somewhere. 10 min into the movie plop the blanket down on the other couch

  • “this is if it gets too cold for you”

As soon as she reaches for the blanket (assuming you haven’t made a move already before this):

  • “If you’re getting under there, I’m getting under there too”

Now you’re both under a blanket watching a movie and sex is literally minutes away if you know how to escalate properly.

And another one:

It’s known as a yes ladder. It’s a sales and persuasion technique upon which you start with an easy positive thing, then move on towards other position things in a chain until you reach the last thing, which was your goal. Initially they might not of agreed to the last thing, but by chaining together positive easily agreeably things first you created a positive feedback loop in their brain.

If the goal was to fuck her, then if you open with “hey come over to my house at X time” there is a good chance she’ll turn you down. This is reality we live in, her ASD is going push her away because there is no plausible deniability. So first it’s to meet up at a bar for some drinks, or maybe a pub or what not. Have a drink or three, chit chat and escalate with some kino to get her comfortable with you touching her and absolutely don’t give off any negative vibes or judgements. Then advice to go “somewhere” else, but on the way you need to stop by at your place to pick something up. Then the rest kind of falls into place, especially since you’ve already prepared the environment and preplanned the entire thing. At the end you have some great sex and she has an exciting story, featuring her as the lead, about how it “just happened”.

Fighting against physiological responses

As per Eric Disco:

The way to get past this physiological response is through practice. By taking small, measured steps, you can quell this response. It’s a bit like getting comfortable with public speaking. First you practice speaking in front of a small group. Then a larger group. Eventually you are able to speak in front of thousands. But this comes through one thing: practice. Nothing else will change your situation. No amount of reading or logical understanding. No amount of reading about how women are not to be pedestalized. Trying to control your thoughts and feelings is counterproductive. You can only control your behavior.

I’ve spent years training guys to get past this physiological response. I had more approach anxiety than anyone. It was an ordeal for me every time I tried to approach a woman. Now things are easy for me. It’s automatic. I can sit down next to a woman and start up a conversation with very little physiological response.

The steps to practice are the same steps you would practice if you wanted to go out and meet women. Only you’ll break them down into smaller, manageable parts and get used to each part. These are the steps:

  1. Go out regularly to locations where there are attractive women. Guys with a lot of anxiety tend ot be homebodies (like me). Going out regularly is the first and most important stept.
  2. Physically position yourself next to women. This part, practiced over time, will reduce your anxiety by 75%. Whenever you see a woman whom you’re attracted to, put yourself next to her. Find any excuse you can. But do it as quickly as you can when you feel attraction. Don’t face her. Don’t talk to her. Just get close enough so that you COULD talk to her if you wanted to.
  3. Say one thing to her and walk away. Have something prepared, an innocuous question; e.g. “Is there a place around here to get on the internet?” This gets your body comfortable saying something to a woman without much on the line. The hard part, believe it or not, is walking way after saying only one thing. You’ll beat yourself up that you didn’t stay longer, but this is all part of teaching your body to be comfortable with not giving a shit about these gorgeous women.
  4. Stay in longer. Once you’re comfortable saying something and walking away, you’ll practice staying in longer. Guys with anxiety tend to feel like they need to leave the interaciton as soon as possible. Get the number and run. Utlimately you’ll be comfortable staying in interactions as long as you want with women.
  5. Transition into personal conversation. Well, we can talk about innocuous bullshit for hours, but this is one of the hardest steps for a guy. Ask her a personal question or get personal in some way. Making statements tends to work better than asking questions. “I get the feeling you do something creative.”
  6. Connect with her. Exchanging facts with women about what they do and where they live is not what builds a connection. In order to build a connection you need to focus on: emotions. What inspires her? What makes her tick? What got her to where she is in life?

Shameless self-promotion: This is a synopsis of my book available here. I’ve spent years coaching guys, dissecting this and figuring out what works best in order to get your body comfortable talking with gorgeous women.